We all make mistakes. Fights happen, so do apologies, and we promise to do better next time. But the problem starts when we don’t follow through on those promises. Not acting on your word shows dishonesty, which can hurt your relationship.
It sounds harsh, but broken promises are the biggest roadblocks to solving fights and keeping a good relationship.
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- Listen to your partner’s grievances with an open mind
Evading Responsibility: Unveiling the Gaslighting Impact
When you promise to change but refuse to follow through, you commit two severe offenses against your relationship. You are guilty of manipulating and gaslighting. Together, they act as a lethal and toxic attack against your relationship dynamic.
Making empty promises is a form of deception, which is fundamentally dishonest. Such a tactic might look like owning up to the problem. But in reality, you are only tricking others, so you can avoid facing the music for your misdeeds. By doing this, you are guilty of manipulating.
Typical gaslighting is when you directly shift the blame for your mistakes to someone else. However, In this case, you are admitting your wrongdoing but not doing anything about it. You are subtly and very connivingly changing the truth, shifting perceptions, and making your partner question their experiences. It is gaslighting.
Quiet Deception: The False Facade of Peace
Do you find yourself staying quiet about disagreements under the guise of maintaining peace? Well, that can also be a form of manipulation. It may seem surprising, but silence isn’t always beneficial.
If you decide to stay silent about your concerns, you’re likely dodging your part in causing the problem. Moreover, avoiding the discussion prevents any chance of resolving the issue.
Resolutions require recognizing the problem, accepting mistakes, and then taking action. If you’re staying silent, you’re effectively bypassing all these steps.
Now, combine this with what I’ve mentioned before. You’re neglecting issues, shunning guilt, making deceitful promises, and skipping positive actions. All these actions are representative of a heightened form of toxic narcissism.
The Fallout of Evasion: The Inevitable Truth
You can temporarily protect your ego. You might even skillfully avoid admitting your mistakes and offering apologies. But there’s no escaping the fallout of these actions.
Reality has a way of making itself known. The consequences of your avoidance won’t stay hidden forever.
Neglected problems, persisting conflicts, and unconfessed mistakes will pile up. They’re akin to the rising water in a dam already filled to the brim.
Sooner or later, that dam will spill over. The protective walls you’ve built will crumble. And the resulting damage to your relationship will be far more significant than any injury a frank conversation or an apology could have caused to your ego.
The Final Word: Choose Truth and Responsibility
Good relationships need us to be authentic and ready to own up to our actions. Stick to what you say. Say sorry when you mess up. Talk about the tough stuff. Remember, a little tough talk now can lead to peace later. This real peace is better than pretending all is well.
Be brave. Be yourself. Take up your duties. You’ll see your friendships and relationships get better. The goal isn’t to have a problem-free relationship. It’s about handling life’s ups and downs with honesty, respect, and love. These are what make our journey through life worthwhile.