Are You Dealing with a Narcissist? Here’s How to Spot and Handle Their Argument Evading Tactics

Are you feeling frustrated and helpless during arguments with a narcissistic partner or colleague? Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, especially when they use manipulative tactics to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or accepting criticism. However, it’s possible to recognize and handle these argument-evading behaviors, and this guide will help you do just that. In this article, we’ll explore the common tactics used by narcissists and provide tips on how to spot and deal with them effectively.

Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

In their relationships, narcissists focus on power and control. They cause emotional or physical harm to their partners without consideration, manipulating, and dominating them.

Mutual respect, trust, and care for each other’s well-being are the basis of a healthy relationship. However, individuals with narcissistic tendencies see relationships as a way to boost their ego and meet their social and financial needs. They don’t need romance, affection, or sex – they use these only as a currency to get what they want, when they want. Narcissists don’t get emotionally involved, which makes them even crueler and, thus, more powerful in a relationship. 

The truth is narcissists love only themselves and their over-inflated egos. They don’t love, need, or care about you. Their whole existence is only about themselves.

The Ultimate Nightmare for a Narcissist

The worst thing that can happen to a narcissist is to have to admit that they have caused damage to their partner.

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I know first-hand the destructive behavior narcissists can exhibit in relationships. They completely lack consideration for the emotional or physical harm they cause to others.

Narcissists will go to any length to avoid facing their guilt. They will use tactics like evasion, confusion, word salad, and aggression to maintain control and protect their egos. It is easier for them to leave you and find their next victim, than to face the guilt of their ruthless selfishness. 

Decoding Narcissistic Argument Strategies

Based on my personal experiences, I share some of the most common tactics narcissists use to avoid constructive arguments. Remember that these are just a few indicative examples. Your narcissistic partner may use different tactics to avoid accountability and to retain toxic control over you.

Deflection:

When faced with a direct question, narcissists deflect the conversation. They do this by turning the focus onto the person asking the question, bringing up past events, talking about unimportant details, or simply staying quiet. It’s important to remember that they only use this tool to keep in control and avoid taking responsibility. It’s not about you.

Silent Victim Reversal:

Narcissists can sit silently for hours while their partner is uncomfortable and arguing. They wait for you to make one small mistake, like a mistake in a date or count, and as soon as they find it, they become aggressive and accuse you of lying. The focus will quickly shift away from the actual argument. Instead of seeking an explanation from them, you’ll have to explain yourself.

The Loud Outburst:

When narcissistic partners feel cornered, they may lash out with loud aggression. They’ll blow a minor mistake out of proportion and become so loud and intimidating that their partner is too afraid to continue the conversation. Stay aware of this technique; don’t let it derail the discussion.

The Emotional Manipulation of Tears:

Narcissists are known to use emotional manipulation, including playing the victim. When they feel cornered, they may start crying and pretend to hurt themselves, painting a sad picture of their life to gain sympathy from their partner. Be aware of this tactic, and don’t let them manipulate you into comforting them, instead of holding them accountable for their actions.

Conclusion

Handling a toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner is challenging. Narcissists will do anything to keep control, even if that means lying, avoiding responsibility, or using confusion and aggression. They won’t try to find solutions or work on the relationship. They definitely, don’t care about their partners. 

Don’t waste time trying to change a narcissistic partner. It won’t work. Find a healthy relationship where you are loved, valued, and your needs come before your partner’s wants. Empower yourself and move on.