Parents Are Gone: How To Navigate Life Without Parental Love

The death of both parents can be a life-altering experience. Learn about the challenges of parental absence and the uncharted territory of life without them.

Growing up in a society that values family togetherness, I feel fortunate to have spent almost my entire life with my parents. Their presence was a constant source of comfort and guidance, even during my college years and travels. I consider myself blessed to have had such a close and loving family.

However, my mother’s unexpected passing during the first wave of COVID left my father alone. They had been partners for over 60 years, and her absence hit him hard. Already struggling with a stroke and aphasia, her death seemed to take what little life he had left. 

Last week, my father passed away at 94 after several days of struggling with his weak heart. 

As a Muslim, I have always understood that death is a promise Allah will fulfill. However, nothing could have prepared me for the profound impact my father’s passing would have on me. 

Following are just a few things I have felt deeply during the past few days. I would love to hear how others benefit from the presence of their parents or the things they miss about their parents who have passed away.

pfanni, ginzano, koldel, agfa, italy, rome, 1960s, old photos, europe
My parents circa 1960. I think this is somewhere in Rome. Would appreciate if someone can identify the exact location

Untethered and Unanchored

I’ve lived with my parents my entire life, so they were a big part of my plans. Even though they were independent and enjoyed each other’s company, things changed after my mother passed away. My dad was left alone, over 90 years old, and not in the best health – I needed to adjust my life to be there for him. I scheduled my day around his routine of rest and wakefulness, including when I slept or left the house. Despite the changes, I felt fortunate to have him as a strong anchor in my life.

Since my parents passed away, I’ve felt like a bird with clipped wings. Even though I’m almost 60 years old, it’s like I’m just learning how to fly for the first time, with no clear direction or destination. This “freedom” is both dizzying and confusing. I am still trying to figure out which way to turn or where to go. 

No One to Question or Stop You

Navigating life without parental guidance is an emotional and challenging journey. While my parents never interfered in my life, their watchful eyes were always present. Their disapproval of my mistakes was enough to make me regret them, and the fear of upsetting them kept me from making errors.

But with their absence, I feel dangerously unchecked. No one is there to question or stop me from making mistakes, and the pressure to keep myself in check is overwhelming.

No One to Guide or Advise You

We all make mistakes in life, and I am no exception. But when push comes to shove, the parents provide the support we need. Whenever anything went wrong, my parents were always there to fall back on, offering advice and doing whatever they could to help me navigate troubled waters.

Now, without them, I feel lost and alone. No one is there to guide or advise me, and I must rely solely on myself to make decisions. The absence of their wisdom and experience is a daunting challenge.

No One to Pray for You

There’s something extraordinary about a parent’s prayer. Even amid their own struggles and frailties, their prayers instill hope and courage in our hearts. With their love and guidance, we can soar above the clouds and overcome any obstacle.

I knew that I was always in my parents’ prayers. Their good wishes for me were a constant source of comfort, support, and protection. It felt like a shield against all trials, giving me the power to deal with any challenge. But now, my superpowers are gone, and I feel vulnerable and exposed. It’s scary, and I’m still trying to find my way without them.

I Miss the Inconvenience

Sometimes, when our parents are alive, we may feel like they are in the way. Their needs and presence may feel inconvenient or even offensive as we pursue new relationships and lifestyles.

Only after they’re gone do we truly realize the significance of their presence in our lives. Even in their own unique ways, they always wanted what was best for us.

Now, I miss the “inconvenience” they brought into my life. 


Dear God, please grant eternal peace to my beloved parents. They lived their lives in your grace and showed us the way to your love. -May their souls rest in your loving embrace forever. Amen.

A dynamic personality with years of experience in the software industry and professional mainstream broadcasting. Now, he is dedicated to sharing his experiences about life, faith, and relationships to help others enable themselves to live a better life.


  1. Saima Naz Warraich


  2. Seema Qayyum

    Look for signs that they are still with you, whether it’s a favorite song that comes on the radio, a flower that blooms on a tree they planted, or a dream that feels like a visit from the

  3. Shakir Hashmi

    Thank you for timely reminder. When my father passed away I went into depression and still am. He was my mentor, guide and a light. May Allah bless his soul.

    May Allah grant highest rank of paradise to your parents and parents of us all. Ameen

  4. Maham S

    FQ, my condolences to you for the loss of your parents. No words, no matter how kind, can mend your heartache. However as someone who cares for you, I pray for your comfort and peace of mind.

    Your feelings shared here are so heartfelt and pure. It gives an insight to what i feel is the veiled core of you Sir Faisal; Vulnerable and Thoughtful.

    I had like to share a memory that i recalled as soon as i read this. Few years ago, I had watched a tv show about your life and you along with your parents were interviewed. Your parents had wonderful things to say about you and I specifically remember your mother appreciating you for habitually greeting her every night after coming home from work, no matter how late or tired you were. You know i have always had great respect and regard for you, but with this it grew manifold.

    I didn’t know your parents but i am sure they must have been incredible people to have raised someone as special as you. May Allah bless yours parents with a pleasant journey back to him filled with peace and light, Aameen.

    • Faisal Qureshi

      Wow. Thank you so much for such a beautiful message. Thank you for remembering all of that. And you know you are a very special friend for me. God bless you always.

      • Maham S


        It’s my honor to be your friend, FQ. You inspire me everyday and I thank you for being a continuous source of guidance and enlightenment for me 👍🏻.

        Take good care of yourself 🌸.


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