Is Your Partner an Energy Vampire? Signs to Look Out For

Is your partner taking you for granted? You could be dealing with an Energy Vampire. You must read this.

Do you feel like you’re being taken for granted in your relationship? Is your partner ignoring your unhappiness and making no effort to fix things? Are you exhausted from dealing with your partner’s insensitivity? Be careful, because you might be dealing with an Energy Vampire. Despite the funny name, these people can be very dangerous and could be slowly wearing you down emotionally and physically. Don’t let them control your life. Keep reading to learn how these people operate and what your options are. With quick action, you can save yourself from their grasp.

What Is An Energy Vampire

Energy vampires (EVs) are people who feed off the kindness and compassion of compassionate, empathetic, and happy people, leaving them drained of their energy. Despite their name’s playful connotation, energy vampires are harmful and can potentially destroy the lives of those around them.

Don't allow them to steal your happiness

How Do Energy Vampires Thrive

Energy vampires are like demons or mosquitoes that suck your blood. They thrive on their victim’s negative emotions and reactions, known as the “narcissistic supply.” To obtain this supply, they may commit terrible relationship crimes that could make even the most peaceful and composed individuals feel angry, frustrated, or sad. When they successfully provoke such a response, energy vampires feed off it, gaining complete control over their victim’s emotional state.

How Do Energy Vampires Operate

Energy vampires manifest in various forms, such as narcissists, manipulators, and drama queens. They have a talent for inciting emotional reactions in their victims and may do so by aggressively or passive-aggressively provoking, prodding, or poking them. The tactics used by energy vampires can be subtle and covert, making them hard to notice by anyone except the victim. 

Here are some examples of their tricks:

Stonewalling or Silent Treatment: 

Energy vampires may refuse to communicate or give their victims “the silent treatment” to gain control over the situation. This non-communication is the top-rated weapon of mass torture used by EVs.

Withholding Affection or Intimacy: 

One of the most common relationship crimes energy vampires commit is withholding affection or intimacy as a means of punishment and manipulation. This tactic also gives them control over the love languages essential to the relationship.

Using Sex as a Currency: 

Energy vampires may use sex as a means to control their victim, or they may withhold it to gain the upper hand in the relationship. By not initiating sexual interaction themselves, they reserve the right to grant or reject their partner’s advances. Suppose their partner also stops making the first move. In that case, the relationship could become completely sexless, leading to another major disaster. Click here to read “Risks and Benefits Of Making The First Move; Or Not.

Refusing to Accept Responsibility: 

Energy vampires almost always refuse to take responsibility for the hurt and agony they cause their victims. Instead, they may try to turn the situation around and convince the victim that something is wrong with them, effectively making themselves the victim. This tactic is classic “gaslighting.”

Avoiding Conflict Resolution: 

Energy vampires may refuse to resolve conflicts because they do not want to take ownership of their misdeeds. This lack of accountability prolongs the suffering and tension in the relationship and can cause severe trauma to their victims. To understand this better, read “Reasons Why Some People Will Never Say Sorry.

Playing the Victim: 

Their tactic of acting like the victim when confronted about their behavior is a way of shifting the blame onto their victim and avoiding responsibility. This behavior is another example of “gaslighting.”

Sarcasm and Backhanded Compliments:

Energy vampires often insult their victims with sarcasm and backhanded compliments while maintaining plausible deniability. If confronted, they will conveniently act innocent and flip the question with, “What did I do?” This technique, too, can be classified as “gaslighting.”

Passive Aggression: 

Energy vampires often employ the nasty tactic of sulking, pouting, or being in a bad mood without apparent reason. They purposely avoid communication and refuse to explain their behavior, leaving their partner to wonder, “What did I do this time?” As a result, it creates an environment where the victim constantly walks on eggshells, a form of emotional abuse.

Punishing You for Being Happy: 

Energy vampires don’t care about the needs or desires of others. Suppose their partner chooses something that makes them happy but goes against the vampire’s wishes. In that case, it can trigger a torturous cycle of narcissistic abuse; this could involve some or all of the above mechanisms to punish the victim.

If they don't reciprocate your kindness, don't waste your time. Let them go and find new heights to climb.


As a relationship counselor, I recommend recognizing energy vampires to defend yourself against their mischief. They provoke you to react with anger or frustration to feed on your energy. Please don’t give them satisfaction. Ignore them completely. Act like they don’t exist. 

Don’t let energy vampires drain your life force. You can stop them by refusing to react to their manipulations. Hopefully, with some effort, you may force them to change; or move on to another victim by depriving them of their supply.  

Interesting Further Reads

Unearthing Vampires: Identify and remove energy vampires from your life once and for all

Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power

A dynamic personality with years of experience in the software industry and professional mainstream broadcasting. Now, he is dedicated to sharing his experiences about life, faith, and relationships to help others enable themselves to live a better life.


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