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Key Points

• When narcissists lose control over their victim, they become desperate to regain it.
• Victims must recognize the patterns and understand they cannot change the narcissist’s behavior or perspective.
• Narcissists may resort to tactics like showing no emotion, pretending to be the victim, or faking illness to regain control.
• The focus should be on protecting oneself and breaking free from the abuse rather than attempting to change the narcissist’s behavior.

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The Narcissist’s Behavior

Narcissists can be manipulative and abusive, using tactics like sex, romance, and affection to control their victims. They use their supposed misery as an excuse for their abusive behavior. They may also withhold basic needs, leaving their victims feeling trapped and powerless. Passive narcissists compensate for having nothing to offer the relationship by remaining unhappy and often have delusions of entitlement.

Empaths, in particular, may fall into the trap of trying to solve the narcissist’s unhappiness. They may spend a lifetime providing more and more to the narcissist but never receive any gratitude or signs of contentment in return. Victims must recognize these patterns and understand they cannot change the narcissist’s behavior or perspective.

When the Narcissist is Exposed

When narcissists lose control over their victim, they become desperate to regain it. The narcissist may initially be patient and confident that the victim will soon return to them, allowing them to regain control.

Suppose the victim remains steadfast and does not return. In that case, the narcissist may try to amplify their favorite traits, becoming even more passive-aggressive or aggressive to regain control.

If the victim can withstand the previous attempts, the narcissist will become disoriented and confused after a few days. They are not used to treating the needs and desires of their victim as equal to theirs. They will resort to anything to trigger an emotional response and feed on the victim’s energy.

In these desperate times, the narcissist may resort to tactics such as:

– Showing no emotion or expression, as if nothing is wrong

– Making themselves the victim and making the victim feel like they are doing something wrong by not catering to the narcissist’s needs

– Pretending that something is emotionally wrong with them to elicit sympathy and attention from the victim

– Faking physical illness or weakness to make the victim feel guilty and obligated to take care of them

– Offering fake apologies but incapable of owning their mistakes or offering sincere apologies. If you asked them what they were sorry about, they would go blank

– Resorting to love bombing is overwhelming a victim with excessive affection and attention to gain control. However, this behavior is not a sign of genuine change or remorse but rather an attempt to manipulate the victim and return to their abusive tactics. Victims should remain cautious of love bombing and not allow themselves to be fooled into thinking that the narcissist has genuinely reformed.

– Stirring up trouble or picking a fight to trigger an emotional response from the victim

It’s essential for victims to be aware of these tactics and to protect themselves against retaliation.

Protecting Yourself Against Narcissist’s Retaliation

Narcissists may try to regain control through various means, including dangerous abuse or self-harm. Victims must keep their guard up and maintain objectivity, detachment, and indifference.

Victims should ensure they have no needs from the narcissist and are legally protected. They may need professional help immediately if the narcissist’s behavior becomes dangerous. Victims must take such behaviors seriously and seek support to ensure their safety.

Overpowering the Narcissist

The only permanent solution to narcissistic abuse is to become indifferent to the narcissist. Victims must always keep their guard up and never let the narcissists control them. Remembering that one should not treat the narcissist as an average person is crucial.

Victims should never give up and be aware that they are dealing with a dangerous opponent. It’s a never-ending game of power, and any slip can lead to the narcissist regaining control over the victim.

It’s important to understand that attempting to change the narcissist is often futile. Instead, the focus should be on protecting oneself and gaining the strength and support needed to break free from the abuse. Victims can overpower the narcissist with perseverance and determination and break free from their grasp.

Supporting Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

To support someone experiencing narcissistic abuse, you can take crucial steps to help them stay safe, including:

– Listening actively and offering emotional support

– Offering practical help, such as helping them find a therapist or a safe place to stay

– Encouraging them to seek legal protection and professional help

– Helping them create a safety plan and providing resources for self-care

It’s important to avoid blaming or shaming the victim, as this can make them feel more isolated and helpless. Instead, focus on empowering and helping them break free from the abuse.