Confront Your Inner Narcissist For A Better Relationship
Is your relationship falling apart? Are you sure you are not the reason for it? Read on to be sure you are not the guilty party.
We Are All Narcissists
Narcissism is a destructive personality disorder that can ruin relationships. It is common for individuals to assume that they are the victim and others are the narcissists. However, the truth is that everyone has the potential to display narcissistic behavior. If we are not vigilant, it is very easy to become one without realizing it.
Who Needs To Be Vigilant
Those experiencing turbulence in their relationship should take a step back and reflect on their actions. It is crucial to ensure that we are not the reason our relationship is falling apart and causing our partner misery.
While aggressive, narcissistic traits are blatantly offensive and thus easy to call out, passive narcissistic abuse is often elusive and only felt subjectively by the victim with no objective evidence. Passive narcissists have ample room for deniability. To avoid confusing the two, this article only outlines common relationship offenses committed by “passive narcissists.”
Common Relationship Crimes:
The following are just a few common examples of passive narcissistic behavior. Please let me know in the comments if I need to include any other significant ones.
Suppose you find yourself guilty of even one of the following traits. In that case, I advise you to immediately open a channel of apology and honest communication with your partner. Conquer your ego and empathetically renegotiate your mutual desires and needs before it is too late.
One of the typical narcissistic relationship crimes is refusing to speak or engage during arguments, also known as the silent treatment. This behavior allows narcissists to maintain power and control over their partners by ignoring them and shutting down communication. It’s a harmful tactic that can make it difficult for the victim to express their feelings, leading to resentment and neglect.
Stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down and refuses to communicate with their partner. This disconnection can leave the other person feeling ignored and unimportant. It is a common way for narcissists to avoid responsibility for their actions.
Not Initiating Intimacy:
Narcissists frequently use sex as a means to gain power and control over their partner rather than as a way to express love and intimacy. This behavior can be incredibly damaging to a relationship, and narcissists often employ it to manipulate and control their partner.
Lack of Affection and Romance:
Narcissists often refuse to display affection and romance to their partner, leaving the partner feeling unimportant and unloved. Narcissists view their partner’s needs and desires as less important than their own, which leads to neglect.
Refusing To Apologise:
Narcissists rarely apologize or take responsibility for their actions. This behavior can be painfully frustrating and hurtful for their partner. Narcissists see admitting fault as a sign of weakness, which goes against their inflated sense of self-importance.
Passive aggression is when someone expresses their anger and frustration in an indirect and non-confrontational way. The other person can find this incredibly frustrating and confusing. Narcissists often use this tactic to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Derailing Arguments By Focusing On Useless Details:
Narcissists often focus on useless details and deflect attention from the real issue. By doing so, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto their partner. This behavior can be incredibly frustrating and can prevent the resolution of the actual problem, leading to further conflicts and tension in the relationship.
Failing To Show Gratitude:
It is a common way for narcissists to maintain power and control over their partners. Narcissists often take their partner for granted and fail to express gratitude for their love and support due to their sense of entitlement. This behavior can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to a relationship.
Playing the Victim Card:
Narcissists often play the victim card to avoid taking accountability for their actions. They may blame their partner for their own shortcomings and mistakes. Narcissists also employ a combination of ungratefulness, self-pity, and baseless complaints about their otherwise perfect life to avoid accountability. This behavior includes faking sadness whenever called out on their actions.
Ghosting is when someone suddenly stops all communication with their partner without any explanation. It is a common tactic used by narcissists to gain control and power over their partner.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic narcissists use to make their partners question their reality and sanity. It involves denying the existence of a situation, often leading the victim to doubt their memory, perception, and judgment. Narcissists use gaslighting to evade accepting guilt or responsibility for their actions by denying, accusing, or blaming their partner.
Lack of Empathy:
Narcissists lack empathy, which means they do not understand or care about the feelings and needs of others. This callousness can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to a relationship, and it is one of the hallmark traits of narcissism.
Ignoring Partner’s Needs:
Narcissists often view their partners as extensions of themselves rather than recognizing them as separate individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. Therefore, narcissists prioritize their wants over their partner’s needs. This attitude can be demeaning and lead to resentment in the relationship.
If there is the slightest chance that you have been guilty of any of the above relationship crimes, then don’t waste any time. Offer an honest apology, and restart negotiation with your partner.
Don’t let your ego, stubbornness, or selfishness ruin your relationship. While ending a relationship may be easy, finding true love is rare.
If you don’t make amends, you risk living in misery or losing your partner. Remember, you caused this situation and cannot play the victim. Your choices have consequences.
However, there is always time to improve your relationship. Change your behavior and prioritize your partner’s needs to make it work.