Why Men Are No Longer Making the First Move

Unravel how Women's Liberation and negative attitudes have catalyzed a shift in dating dynamics, leading to men avoiding committed relationships.

The Changing Dynamics of Relationship Initiation

Historically, men have taken the lead in initiating relationships, approaching women, and starting things off. However, in recent years, a significant change has occurred. More and more, men are holding back, not taking the initiative in starting relationships. This shift has led many women to wonder about the availability of potential long-term partners.

This change is not coincidental; it directly stems from decisions women have made over several decades.

The Unforeseen Impact of the Women’s Liberation Movement

I often hear from self-assured women who believe they instill fear in men. They think their confidence intimidates men. However, the reality is quite the opposite. Men are attracted to confident women.

What they find less appealing is a woman who doesn’t need them. An unintended outcome of the women’s liberation movement is that many women have begun to express their independence. They state they can live without men and don’t need them.

This attitude has gradually led men to question why they should pursue someone who doesn’t appear to need or want them. Consequently, the women who now find fewer men approaching them are dealing with the results of their own past decisions or those made by other women.

The Rolling Eyes and Desperate Men

In the dating landscape, it has been typical for a woman to respond to a man’s approach with rolling eyes or other demeaning gestures. People often ridicule men and label them desperate when they make the first move. 

Unfortunately, even in contemporary times, it remains rare for a woman to respond with a straightforward acknowledgment. Resistance to the man’s approach is a prevailing trend.

When a woman does respond, it is sometimes in a manner that suggests she is doing the man a favor by acknowledging him. This portrayal reinforces the notion that the man is the desperate one, leading to feelings of inferiority. Consequently, this evolving scenario has given women an unfair advantage in relationship initiation.

Men Have Been Trained Well

Over many decades, women’s attitudes have played a significant role in shaping the evolution of men. However, the outcome is different from what women desired. They sought the moral advantage over men, yet it appears to have slipped from their grasp.

Nowadays, men question the rationale behind subjecting themselves to such treatment. If women assert they can do without men, what drives men to pursue them? Moreover, if women seek equality, why should men always take the initiative?

The choices made by women in the past have resulted in significant consequences. A noticeable disconnect between the needs and desires of men and women has emerged. To gain a comprehensive understanding, it is crucial to delve into the entire dynamic and its impact on contemporary relationships.

The Need to Work Together

Men have adapted to societal changes, but women lag. The dynamics have shifted, and women must grasp this reality. Relying solely on men to initiate contact is no longer feasible; they should be willing to take the lead at least half the time.

Furthermore, women need to alter their reactions when approached by men. Insulting or dismissing their advances is no longer acceptable; respect should prevail.

Today, women demonstrate equal capabilities in running businesses and engaging in open conversations. They should also take charge of initiating relationships. We find ourselves confined by outdated scripts that no longer fit the narrative. The weight of tradition should not hold back men or women.

Ultimately, the focus isn’t solely on who makes the first move. Instead, it centers on fostering open, respectful, and balanced communication. Breaking free from old norms and establishing fair ones is vital.

Let’s celebrate breaking the silence, starting conversations, and making the first move, irrespective of gender. Here’s to our collective evolution and growth in relationships.

A dynamic personality with years of experience in the software industry and professional mainstream broadcasting. Now, he is dedicated to sharing his experiences about life, faith, and relationships to help others enable themselves to live a better life.


  1. Maham S

    I agree to most of what is said here. However i have a reservation on the emphasis on anyone at all “needing” another person, irrespective of the gender? Why this demand to feel needed in order to pursue a relationship? Why can’t we build the relationship because we want to and without the need for it.

    I think humans are equipped to survive on their own, might just not be an ideal circumstance. I feel a healthy relationship should be one where you want to share your life with someone without needing them to make you feel whole. It should be like … I know i can do it alone but I rather do it with you because i want to 🤷‍♀️.

    • Khizran Junaid

      I agree with you

  2. Zeeshan

    Perhaps you may agree or perhaps not. This is my opinion, and anyone can disagree.

    It has been observed that when a man becomes independent or achieves some success in life, he starts thinking about finding a good wife, getting married, and starting a family. On the other hand, when most females become independent, they try to prove or demonstrate through various life situations that they can live without a man, that they do not need a man.

    Most men have never claimed that they want to live without a woman; rather, they wanted to build a family and still do. It is up to the woman whether she was previously maintaining a long-term relationship based on societal or old family traditions, and now, as she becomes fully independent, the majority of women convey through their attitude, response, or behaviour that they do not need a man. As a result, relationships don’t last long, or they are avoided altogether.


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